That is the question!
It is not a life-or-death question but a question that has been on my mind a lot lately. I have been steadily gaining all my lost weight back for a while now. I have gained almost all of it back. Not all, but enough. My clothes hardly fit.
I feel every bit of it.
I have kidded myself about it.
I have made excuses.
Without meaning to, I have slipped right back into some old habits – dessert, eating too much, eating too fast, not enough veggies, and the list could go on. I have been avoiding the scale. As if not actually stepping on the scale can change the fact that I have not been taking care of myself.
Ok, I did step on the scale.
It is confirmed.
I have the number.
It is not pretty.
I cannot deny it anymore.
I cannot make anymore excuses.
I worked hard to lose the weight initially.
I felt better with less weigh on me. And I know my knee and ankle and ever-aching quads will thank me if I take some weight off.
So, I have decided to begin the process of weight loss.
This is a fresh start. I will no longer talk about the weight I once lost and gained back.
I am going to work on losing weight, but I will not let the number on the scale dictate how I feel about myself.
I will measure my success in ways other than the number on the scale.
But, I do think knowing the direction of the scale is moving in the right direction will help me. I do not want to “diet” but I want to work on portions, eating the right way for me, and paying attention to what I am eating and how it makes me feel. I am starting to think certain foods are effecting my joints (I do have arthritis in my knees) and I want to find the connection and I want to eliminate foods that make me feel crappy. I am not an extreme person so I won’t eliminate foods just because…
I am contemplating re-joining Weight Watchers. My mom just started WW and I may keep her company – we will talk about that later this week. I think I could use the refresher course and the support! I haven’t made any decisions just yet but I am thinking about it.
I know I have tinkered back and forth about weighing in and losing weight. I think I can work on loving me and still work on losing weight. It may lead to some interesting blog posts and I am sorry for going back and forth about this, but I feel this is something I need to do.
It is getting late, so tomorrow will be my new Day 1.
The past is the past!
and the future is ahead of me!
Time to enjoy it!