all over the place; a 4-month update


I just passed the 4-month mark! It has been a little over 4 months since my surgery. The first month and a half I was laid up on the couch. Then I had to wean off the crutches and start the long process of physical therapy. Months 2 and 3 are a blur of physical therapy 2-3 times a week. Plus, I went back to school. Talk about exhausting.

A few weeks ago I graduated physical therapy and joined a gym!

The gym has forced me to realize just how out of shape I have become! I know I have gained weight. 6 months on my butt with injury; surgery to fix said injury (essentially); and now recovery and I am almost back to my highest weight. I can feel my weight…in my jeans and my breathing (when I run up the stairs at school) and just everywhere. My clothes don’t fit right and I just don’t feel comfortable in my skin.

It is not all scale related…part of the uncomfort is dealing with recovery from surgeries and the unknown and fear. It is scary starting from square one. It is scary testing out my fixed ankle and knee. I keep expecting it to hurt or flop. I keep waiting for my ankle or knee to give out. Silly, I know…this is the whole reason I had surgery…which was a huge success…so why am I scared?!?

august 21st I hurt my knee while out running! I have since gained a bunch of weight and I am completely out of shape.

Yeah, that could be kinda scary!

I don’t want to get hurt again.

And I know it wasn’t just the injury that lead to this surgery. Years and years of ankle sprains and knee issues were the biggest factors in the need for surgery. But I spent most of my life living with pain in my knee and ankle. At least once a year from the time I was 12, I sprained my ankle, usually by falling in some embarrassing way (7th grade gym class, walking my dog, at home on a dog toy.)

And I know my ankle is so much more stable. I know my knee is working properly now.

I can feel the difference. In fact, my knee and ankle are still too tight. I need to keep moving it and stretching daily to keep the range of motion progressing.

I have decided to not pursue running any time soon. First of all, my joints will be happier if I don’t try running with my current weight. Second, I wan to build up the strength in my quads and calf in my right leg before I attempt to run.  I can still see the difference in size of my calves…my right calf is so small and the muscle is a bit sad. My quads feel better every day but still need to strengthen!

When I first started at the gym, I did all cardio. The elliptical and/or stationary bike….every day. Then I started New Rules of Lifting for Women. But I am stubborn and did cardio most days also. I was doing 3 days of cardio, 3 days of lifting with cardio for a long warm up and/or long cool down.

My calf revolted!

I was having severe calf cramps and pain. I stretched and stretched. I gave it heat and ice and soaked in epsom salt. My calf was not happy.

It was suggested I give cardio a break.

I pouted.

I did not want to give up my cross ramp (elliptical).

But I did it!

And first day I did weights only, I felt a difference. My calf was not pissed at me after the workout. So I have now gone about a week without cardio and my calf is happier.


I started lifting much heavier weights. I stepped out of the women’s private room, met with a trained and learned how to use the racked bar for squats and deadlifts. Trainer also made me start doing pushups on my toes. She says I can bang out modified pushups so it is time to push myself and do them on my toes! Even though it is harder and may take a lot longer to get the set done, it is better than racing through modified pushups.  It ain’t pretty, but I give it my all!!

I have decided I really like lifting weights!

I am amazed at how much I can lift. The bar is 45 pounds. That may not sound like a lot but last week I didn’t even think I could or should use weights for squats.  I am amazed at how amazing I feel when I am done a weights workout!

I am only at the beginning.  After tomorrow’s workout I will be halfway through Stage 1 of NROLFW. I am really getting into a groove.

truth…I am feeling quite badass!!



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