mind dump

Standard

Warning: hormonal ramblings/rantings ahead! I need to clear my head and I may need to look back at this as a reminder in the future.

 

I am stressed.

And it’s all about money.

There is never enough.

We are lucky, Big Man is working again (at least part time) and we are digging our way out of the hole, but it sucks. Some days it sucks more than others. Today, it sucks real bad.

I am so conflicted.

On one hand, I know how lucky we are. I do know how good we have it. That would be rational practical Jen. She understands that we can pay our bills, we have a safe rood over our heads, we have delicious and healthy food on our table, and we have a great relationship (yep, all 3 of us, even the teen).

On the other hand, I want to be able to do things without “figuring” it out. That would be Wants It All/Now Jen. Let’s just say, she is quite grumpy that practical Jen always wins out.

Enough of that, I am not good at writing in crazy person. 

I have to be honest, there is a tiny part of me that really wants to throw a hissy fit. I work hard why is it such a struggle to get ahead. It just isn’t fair! Yep, I said it…and I know, I know…life ain’t fair. But today is just one of those days where I want to stomp my feet and throw a hissy fit.

Instead, I blog. It feels good to get this gunk out of my head. I don’t blog for pity or advice – unless I ask for it, and when I need it I will ask. I am not silly enough to not ask for what I need.

Today, I needed to dump this out of my head. I am hormonal and apparently that has just made tight finances freak me out. I don’t really know why I let it get to me so much. Every year at this time, I stress about paying everything.

I think I need to work on my budget just a bit better so I don’t have to stress next year. This year IS easier than it was last year. #alwayslearning

Alright, I feel better now. I feel more clearminded. I also think I need to work on a few things that could help my purse strings.

Let’s end this post on a positive note…

Today I completed Day #7 of my yoga streak!!

 

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6 responses »

  1. Oh I so hear ya Jen! Believe me, I still have those stomp my feet and wonder what I did to deserve this (always broke paying bills)…but like everything else, this too shall pass!

    Chin up girl! You will get through it too!!

    • my chin is up! I am just tired of it…yanno?!? I think you do know. It is exhausting paying all the bills and not having extra for “fun” and I am working through it. I just needed to get it off my mind and “down on paper” -blogging has become my therapy!

    • I am feeling much better! I needed to have a wobbler and did so by blogging. It usually does feel better to just get the gunk out of my head!

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