I needed yesterday’s post! I REALLY needed the comments I received on said post (and I did not nor do I ever blog for comments, I blog because I do need this space to work through the gunk in my head)!
Tara called me out. Then Deb jumped right in there. For the record, I love both ladies even more for doing that. They called me on my crap and I DESERVED it! I NEEDED it. I cried when I read their comments but they were right! They ARE right! I cried because I knew it. I have been looking outward, for a miracle. I have been mean to myself when that doesn’t work.
I have not been doing right by me. I have been floundering and I have allowed weight to creep back on and I have allowed “foods” and scams into my life. In a nutshell, I have not been doing right by me! I hate that I allowed old insecurities and old bad habits to overtake my own sensibilities. I hate that I let go of myself. I hate that I beat up on myself. I hate that even though I say I love myself, I treat me like such crap!
That has to stop! Anyone else who talked to me the way I talk to myself would get slapped for sure.
IT ALL CHANGES RIGHT NOW!
I AM NOT GOING BACK TO BASICS!!!
I know the basics! I know what to do, I know what feels good for my body (real food, and mostly wheat free with daily movement) and I just need to DO IT! And do it consistently.
It is time I stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. Time I start doing what is right for me. It is time I stop worrying about what others might think of me. Ok, this all may be easier said than done but I am in this for the long haul. I am going to do right by me but I am not going to blather all about the big goals and BIG plans and happy times and miracles or weekly weigh-ins here on my blog anymore.
I am going to work on consistently living a healthy lifestyle. I will blog about my ins and outs (again, it makes my head feel good to have this space to work through it all) and what is going on in my life.
I am going to really really work on my insides (the organs and the emotions). Deb had great advice,
“Before you go looking for something to change your life, spend the next quarter (Sept.-Dec.) living a consistent life. No big changes, just small tweeks. No miracles, just repetition.
No answers outside of you. You already have the answers you need inside.”
and Tara reminded me,
“You know how to do this. It’s time to do it and do it for real. You love to cook. Then cook your body the healthy food it deserves. Move damnit. Like your life depends on it. Walk around the block. Walk up and down your stairs. Who cares what you do as long as you do it!
You are looking in the wrong places to help you with what you seek. Stop looking outward an look inward. That Jen knows how to take care of business.”
I am going back to the kitchen, back to the bikepath, and back to reality!
Thank you for all your love!