Dear Summer,

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Dear Summer,

Oh summer, how you sucked.
OK. OK. You gave me some GREAT moments.
But Summer, you were a bitch for most of the time. I could go on and on and tell you all the ways you sucked but I really don’t want to rehash it all.
Cold days.
Rain for days and days.
Nice day….perfect for the beach….oh yeah, there were a few and I worked most of them.
Work…yeah, work was tough. Money is tight and a few bills/issues hit us very hard this summer. I was stressing and still am (especially because school is starting without a contract and the S word has been heard) but as I was chatting with a friend I had a huge a-ha sort of moment.
I was sort of jesting when I said “aaahhh, well, all we need is love…..right?!?” My friend is dealing with her own issues but she basically told me that they are OK with the money part but the love part is where they are struggling. I sat with this conversation for a long while. In fact, I’ve been sitting with this for days. My husband and I have been married for a little over 6 years and since almost the beginning our vows were tested.

Let’s just say, I’m glad summer is over and school is starting.

I am craving the routine that comes with school.

For most people the New Year starts on January 1, but for me (and probably most teachers) the new year coincides with the new school year. Most people set goals and intentions and whatnot with the new year or the new school year. And I have been thinking…I don’t need to set a new intention but I do need to REcommit to making me happy and healthy.

I am starting my 7th year teaching alternative high school and unfortunately this year we are starting without a contract. I will need to be more involved with the goings on in my union and I will need to be available for more meetings. My Q is starting high school next week and she has joined the school’s Color Guard. Q practices 2-3 nights a week for 3-5 hours at a clip. I am only required for driving to and from practices. Next week we add in friday night football games and competitions (or competition practice) most Saturdays.

Busy schedules and crazy stress are too often my excuses. Well, what was my excuse all summer?!? I did have a slight injury I was dealing with but I let that small injury take over my well being. I stopped taking care of myself. I let the stress and suckyness suck the joy from me. I felt like a blob. It was too hard to push myself beyond feeling sorry for myself. And anytime I attempted to pull myself out of this funk, I failed or felt like a failure and repeated the couch sitting and funk brewing. The weather seemed to coincide with my mood…this was the summer of sucky weather. Another excuse to stay in the house in my funk.

It wasn’t pretty.

I was quite pathetic.

I felt quite pathetic.

Truth, I still sort of do.

But I am putting one front of the other and taking baby steps back to healthy and happy living.

Yesterday, was the first step. I tracked everything I ate….not so much to see how many calories I was eating but the act of tracking helps me slow down and think about what I am eating. I hate tracking but I know I need it right now. I need to see what I am feeding my body and I need to see/know how my body reacts. I am still fighting my gremlin (stomach issue, I am seeing a gastro doc for this issue but its already been a LONG process to try and figure out what is wrong…this is a whole other post) and I think a food log might help my doc help me.

Not only did I track, I stopped to make the best choices. I needed to be at our high school (the district I work in has 11 schools) at 7am for union duties. I packed a cooler with breakfast and lunch so I would have good choices. Thank goodness I did! The only thing offered at our meeting was bagels or sweet scones….and none of them were bakery fresh. Bakery fresh I would have gone for but grocery store bagels just don’t do it for me!

I also put my pedometer back on my persons yesterday! I logged about 6800 steps. I call my pedometer Pedro because my cell phone auto-corrects pedo to Pedro and I got tired of fixing it and decided the little guy needed a name! I keep Pedro in my bra and he counts steps and I don’t have to do anything. Pedro is a simple Omron pedometer not a fancy fitbit and I realize right now, I am glad I kept this old school. Yesterday’s step count is just from running all over school getting ready….and I had to sit in 3 hours of meetings….not bad for day 1! Today should be even better.

I will be adding in exercise. I haven’t been very consistent with anything. I want to make yoga a very important part of my daily life. Lately, I stop and stretch (or, if you like, pop into a yoga pose) all the time but I haven’t done much in the way of an actual daily practice. I will get back to that because its important and it makes me feel so good!! I will also schedule walks into my week. Right now, I don’t want to schedule myself some crazy workout plan I will not stick with but rather one I can build and grow naturally. My body likes movement…I need to remind myself this every day!

Summer is officially over for me!

In a few hours I will be back in my classroom and my students will walk in for their day one!

As much as I usually love summer, this summer can suck it!

I am craving a routine. I am craving healthy habits.

Bring on School! Bring on Fall!

xoxo,

Jen

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4 responses »

  1. Oh a girl after my own heart. I create goals and re-visit my intentions in September too. I crave the routine, although busy, of school. I have committed to a stress.less September with a more confirmed Yoga practice and meditation.. We can watch each others progress! PS…I too am like you in the marriage department. Vows tested since the day we said I do!

  2. My August was kind of blah too. I’m pretty sure I gained the 5 lbs I lost in July. 😦 Personal stuff has made the first week of September challenging but hope that will change this weeked. I’m sure going to try to get organized. Looks like you’ve got a great plan for the Fall. Stick with it and good luck with the contract stuff. 🙂

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