I haven’t blogged much lately.
I haven’t been doing anything really blog-worthy.
You see, I have been struggling a lot this year.
Struggling to find my way.
Struggling to find my way in a sea of awesome people doing awesome things.
Struggling to find the way that would make me happy.
But you see the thing is….if I really think about it….I haven’t really been struggling…I think I have been stuck in a pattern of over-analysis paralysis.
It all started with a bit of stomach pains….or what I call, my gremlin.
- I have been going to doctors and having procedures all to figure out what is going on with my stomach.
- I completed the Whole30 in January and kept up with Paleo until my birthday in late February.
- In March, my doctor told me to eat normal. My tests, at this point, were negative and doc wanted to see how I reacted.
- More tests. More negative results.
- finally, we hit a wall. No answers, still having issues.
The good new…its nothing scary. The bad news…I have no answers and that is also scary.
- 10.5 months later. No news. According to the doc, the only thing he can say is I have unknown stomach irritation.
- I have yoyo’d my weight again.
- I have let myself slip into a nasty funk.
- I have been totally stuck. I can’t seem to make myself get out of own way, or to get my ass off the couch.
- I am quite upset with myself.
I tried to fake it for a long time.
I think I even succeeded.
At least, I succeeded.
Ok, I succeeded in fooling myself.
So, what am I supposed to do now?!?
I am going to jump back on the horse, so to speak.
I am making no grand declarations. I am not even thinking about weight loss or marathons. In fact, I am thinking of things in a whole different light.
I am going to work on making ME feel better.
I am going to walk and practice yoga at every chance….why?!? because doing so makes me smile. I am going to wear my pedometer and step my way to more and more steps each day.
I am going back to the beginning. When I first started taking an interest in my health…weight loss and physical activity…it was all about making small changes. Those small changes add up.
I was so good at these small changes. Adding in extra steps. That was before I started comparing my progress with other. Before I started think I had to run half marathons like all my online friends were doing.
I am joining my Polar family with a challenge to #rethinkyourday because I need to rethink MY day!
It may be the best way to get me back in my own head.
And with that being said, I am going downstairs to use the school treadmill before I go help out the Color Guard (my daughter is in the high school marching band’s color guard) get their makeup on for tonight’s Halloween parade.
I will grab Pedro, my pedometer at start wearing Pedro (yep, my pedometer has a name) again.
I will rethink my day, will you #rethinkyourday?!?!