Between here and there, jennifer, the only thing that matters is what you think, from now ’til then.
Choices, choices, choices –
I think the universe has been trying to tell me something….like….”hey dummy, you think too much. Knock it off. Go DO something. Anything.”
Actually, it might be that tiny voice inside me that has been calling me a dummy.
I have been stuck in a battle of over-analysis paralysis.
I have doing way too much thinking and very little doing.
Just when I had wrapped my head around just getting up and doing, I caught one nasty little cold bug. Instead of taking a few days off from school when I first felt sick, I worked harder. There was so much to do. I went to school every day for two weeks wishing I had stayed home in bed. I was tired and sick and getting sicker. It was just a cold. Who takes time off for a little sniffle?!?
Because my classes couldn’t go on without me. Because I has so much work to do. Because it takes so much extra effort to plan for a day out of school. Yep, who do I think I am?!?
So I fought through a chest cold that continued to get worse while I went to school. After almost two weeks of fighting it, I took two days off school. The week before Winter Break is notoriously crazy at school and I did not want a substitute in my class. But I rested.
Three weeks into this sickness and I might just finally be getting better. I’m not 100% but I’m well enough to want to be better and to want to do things.
Being sick has humbled me. The steps at school take my breath away. Doing anything…and I mean anything, even washing a sink of dishes, left me exhausted. After a full day at school I required a nap. Preparing for Christmas was a slow process but luckily Winter Break started early enough to let me be slow.
I’ve enjoyed the holidays with my family and friends I consider family. I survived all the cooking, eating, drinking, and cleaning. I’ve rested and recovered to a point I’m ready to start moving.
I’m more than ready to move on from being sick. Of course, my chest may have other ideas. My chest still has that tight feeling where too much movement makes it hard to breathe.
Coming back from being sick….
Coming back from gaining almost all/all of the weight I had lost….
Coming back to my blog and putting it all out there again….
Is a very humbling experience.
I feel as though I am back at the beginning. Physically, I am at the same point when I started this journey to weight loss. Mentally, I’ve had my ups and downs but i feel strong and smart. I’m ready to go back and starts from square one. However, I do get to start with the knowledge I have gained over the last few years. I just have to start at the beginning AND keep all that knowledge working.
To stay strong I need:
*to do what is fun
*to start small and build
*to not compare what I am doing and the progress I am making with what anyone else is doing!
*to be honest with myself
*blog a few times a week…this is my journal and I need to remember to use it as just that.
*have fun and move every day!
The time for too much thinking is coming to a close.
OK, a zebra can’t change its stripes and I know I will over think but as long as I keep moving it will all be OK!